Thank you for being so patient, I know it’s been a while since I’ve done a Q&A but there were quite a lot of questions to sift through! You guys sure ask me a lot of dating questions and I’m not a dating expert at all, but I can offer my humble opinion. Also, I’ve noticed that I’ve received a bunch of questions on etiquette and will post them on the Light & Polite section of the blog. So please don’t feel that I’ve forgotten them. Lets get to it…
Are you a qualified stylist? What other qualifications do you have?
I am, yes, I went to school initially for fashion design but switched to merchandising and design. I’m also a qualified make-up artist and a part time etiquette coach. I used to have my own jewelry design company but stopped because I wanted to focus on writing and completing my first novel which I did thankfully, but no one told me how daunting the publishing process was.
What do you like to do in your free time?
Read, exercise, see my friends and find new restaurants. I also like to go to art galleries or my absolute fave place to frequent is the ballet or opera.
What do you look for in a potential partner? Does he have to be fit? Tall?
I don’t think I can peg this down to simply physical attributes. I think the five C’s have to come into play- chemistry, compatibility, charisma, chivalry and charm. Sure, I notice good-looking men, tall or not but that’s not what’s going to get my attention. Humor is number one for me. I am always laughing, most people think I’m witty and if I can meet someone that can match that, I’m instantly attracted to that person. I like very cultured men (at least enough to deal with my mother and father) and admire fit men because I work out a lot and a healthy way of living is so important for me, it’s a way of respecting your body. He doesn’t have to rock a six pack though. Here’s the thing. Women have all these lists and it’s very unrealistic because you have to look at that list and ask if you match any of those attributes, are you any of those things that you’re making a list of? Be that first and you will attract someone with the same energy. I really believe that.
You have a lot of designer bags. Do you only wear designer bags?
I think I’ve answered this before but the answer is no. I wear what looks good to me and that could be something that is considered a luxury brand or reasonably priced. I just bought the prettiest bag from Nine West. I liked it so much that I didn’t mind the edge was slightly damaged because it was the last one. I wanted it right there and then. All I did was put a Kate spade heart sticker on the damaged part – the part where it says Nine West was chipped and bent. I can’t believe how perfect it goes. I didn’t realize that some magazines had featured this bag because it’s just so darn pretty. What won me over was the zippered compartment in the back, because hello makeup.
Do you like Topshop Jeans?
What’s your favorite store to browse in?
Is it hard to find an agent?
No. It’s getting them to read your manuscript and have them meet with you that can be hard. I wish there were more human transactions in this business rather than a standard query letter, which are so petrifying. Agents are plenty but you really do have to do your research and find one that’s right for you.
Aside from accessories what else do you collect?
I love headphones. I’ve always had this weird obsession for them.
Name a beauty brand that needs to work on their customer service and one designer accessories brand that could improve in-store service?
Estee lauder and Chanel.
Would you ever do YouTube videos?
Sadly, I tried and was not good at it. It’s a lot harder than it looks and I find all the lighting and camera angles very confusing. I admire YouTubers for this very reason.
What do you do when you date someone with bad eating manners?
Oh no, this is the worst. I’m going to be brutally honest here. If a man doesn’t eat politely, it’s difficult for them to change. Trust me, I’ve had this experience. This is a deal beaker for me, that and gross bathroom habits. You can try to tell him, he’ll just get offended and pretend to be on his best behavior but you can’t really closet the inner Neanderthal.
What dating advice would you give anyone?
Never settle. Ever. No matter how tempting it is, just don’t do it. That’s my motto anyway.
What’s your opinion on fashion and beauty bloggers that have no qualifications?
It’s not that they’re devoid of qualifications; a few of them actually have great backgrounds in fashion and are more than qualified. However, there are so many that just get paid to push pretty products and that’s where I wonder what the heck they’re doing? Are they raving about a product because it’s free, do they want more? The reasons boggle me. There are so many factors and demographics involved in recommending beauty products but I’m convinced that most people are intelligent enough to go to a correct source for professional opinions. For the most part, I just find their posts amusing.
What’s the best investment you can make for your own personal time?
This is a really great question. Read. Read and read lots and read quality. Read all the classics, read a plethora of non-fiction and just travel with your mind.
What’s you favorite food combination?
Raspberries and coconut.
What’s the best way to find an agent for your work?
I would say Google ,Google and Google to find a bunch of literary agencies. See if they are looking for writers of your specific genre. If they are, read the requirements thoroughly and then research the agent. Make sure you know if you both are on the same page (total pun) and then go from there.
What kind of makeup are you wearing for spring?
Oh spring, when will you arrive? I like everything bronzy and peach for the summer. I inevitably tan, despite my protest to the universe about it. I really don’t like to get additional color, but if I’m outdoors for five minutes I’ll start turning bronze and this is problematic because, I’m already bronze. I find the colors that suit me when I’m turning into a copper penny are more along the peach variety and I tend to stick to sheer lipsticks and lightly lined eyes. Generally, it’s a softer more ethereal look.
Do your parents approve of whom you date?
My mom has never liked anyone I’ve ever dated, like ever. She freindzones them for me and pretends the relationship isn’t happening, she’s like “How’s your friend dear?” or “How sweet, your friend brought you flowers”. She’s always right though which is kind of annoying. However, I feel there’s hope.
What’s your favorite lipstick at the moment?
I love the Clinique Crayola Chubby Lip Crayons in Melon and Fuzzy Wuzzy. I use them all and mix the colors.
Do you listen to music while you write?
Yes, sometimes, but I have music on all day long even when I’m not writing.
What is your favorite designer?
At the moment, Gucci.
Where do you like to shop for jeans?
Anthropologie, I always find unusual ones in there. Oh, I also like American Eagle Outfitters.
What’s your ideal first date?
Probably going for coffee. There are a few reasons why I do this. The first being, if I don’t like the guy I don’t have to sit across from him awkwardly for an entire evening. Also, I’m not one of those women that use dates to have a free meal even if I don’t like the man. That’s just mean. I much prefer to sit and have a good conversation in a casual environment than be shoved under candlelight with the wrong match. I can usually tell within the first five minutes of meeting someone if I want to sip and split, or stay.
If you had to live in the city or the countryside, what would you choose?
The countryside, hands down.
What makeup products do you love right now?
The CLARINS four-in-one eyeliner and lip liner pen, it’s so cool!
What is one misconception people have about you?
I’m a city girl that likes to shop. I actually loathe shopping and prefer being on a farm and reading a book to being in the city. I gravitate towards anything and anyone that has depth.
Do you like dogs? Do you have any pets?
I love dogs and yes, I’m planning on getting one.
Do you find other women get jealous of you?
I think I see women get more competitive or mean, and I feel sad when that happens because there’s room for everyone on this planet. We all have our own unique qualities and feel that women should empower one another, not be petty. Easier said than done for many.
What’s your favorite type of food?
Gluten free spring rolls with Singapore noodles, I could eat that all day but don’t for obvious reasons.
Are you vegan? What’s your diet? Do you drink?
No, I eat chocolate from time to time but I’d say if anything, I prefer a plant based diet because I love honey and honey is not vegan. I do love the occasional glass of wine, yes.
How often do you work out? What types of workouts do you do?
I try to work out six days a week. I alternate between HIIT, Muay Thai and Yoga because I get bored of mundane workout routines.
What are you reading now, fiction or non-fiction? What books do you prefer to read?
I’m reading non-fiction and my current read is The Little Book of Hygee. It’s an easy read and I should be done quickly. I just bought F*uck Love and it looks good. I didn’t buy it because of the title, but maybe I would have had I seen it in store. I actually watched an interview with the father daughter team that wrote this and thought that it was an interesting dynamic. They presented themselves so well with an undertone of humor that I was immediately drawn to getting it. I always like to think that the right books always find me. I tend to read only non-fiction unless there’s a really riveting story that gets my attention.
What is one make-up rule no woman should break?
Never go to bed with your make-up on.
What female writers do you like?
Lately, I like Dorothy Parker. Sometimes, I think some of her conversations stress me out with the pace but that’s what draws me in at the same time. I really like fast-paced wit. I’m also a massive Anaïs Nin fan and feel her work resonates well with my personality. Another writer I adore is Simone De Beauvoir. I’m waiting to finish my current read so that I can dive into Memories of a Dutiful Daughter. Sigh…I buy too many books.
What advice would you give someone that wants to be a personal stylist?
I would say cultivate your own sense of style and know it well first because that confidence will land you clients. Secondly, you have to be really patient and understand that your personal style is not your client’s style and never confuse the two. Lastly, learn to develop an instinct for what your client wants and always research until your eyes fall out. I’m up all the time, looking at new arrivals online, watching the collections, sifting through accessories and keeping an eye on new and upcoming designers as well as seeing what’s happening in mainstream fashion because ultimately you have to infuse the two. You’ll soon be able to have a mental formula for what pieces are going to be popular in a season. A stylist has to have good foresight and great fashion instincts combined.
Would you ever dress celebrities?
No, that’s not my thing.
At what age did you know you wanted to be a writer?
When I was eleven.
What shopping websites do you go on the most?
Sephora, Zara and Gucci.
What’s the most important thing that you do for yourself?
To keep learning as much as I can, I’m curious by nature and absorb information like a sponge.
CNN. I could watch CNN all day long.
Have you ever had great love?
I feel as if I’ve answered this before. Have I? Anyway, the answer is no.
What shows do you watch on TV?
Not many. I just started watching the Good Fight and love it, as well at Netflix’s the Crown, Mindy Project and Stranger things. I mainly watch a lot of documentaries on history and castles. Totally boring, I know.
How does a woman empower herself. What’s the opposite of empowerment?
Oh wow, that’s a loaded question and there are so many ways that I can’t list them all but the main one I would say is – learn to help yourself instead of depending on someone else to do it. If something is broken at my place, I’ll take out a manual and fix it, if I’m having a life crisis I deal with things by being kinder to myself and reducing my stress levels. Inner strength is so sexy. Some idiot I dated said something so stupid once. He said- you’re so empowered that you’re afraid to be in a relationship. I laughed because it’s the total opposite. It means I won’t settle, it means that I like the quality of my company so much and emphasis on quality that I am not afraid to be alone. What the heck is that anyway? I don’t like co-dependency, if I choose for anyone to be in my life it’s because I want them there not because I need them. That’s scary for some people.
In terms of the opposite, I met a woman recently that married a man for his money. I still shake my head because I see this all the time. That is the bottom of the pit for me, it’s the furthest away from empowerment, and it’s giving away your ownership to someone with a wallet. Any situation where you cannot have full control of your life and make your own decisions is a loss of empowerment for me.
Lastly, I feel when women in general support one another, their successes, whatever they may be – personal or work, that is empowering for both the women. Jealousy, pettiness, nastiness, gets you nowhere baybee.
How do you feel about being on a wait list for a luxury product?
As much as I love nice things, and trust me if there ever were a crown to be handed out on loving nice things, I would stick my head under it, I feel a person has to have a social responsibility. So many people don’t have homes, are fleeing from their countries or being thrown out of theirs and then there are people getting on a wait list for a ridiculously priced bag. I’m not saying don’t enjoy the things you can afford in life but just be aware that there are others suffering as you do it and there should be some sort of stirring in your heart towards making the world better. It’s good to prioritize how you spend. Maybe donate to a charity regularly, volunteer somewhere, and help others, I like to call it having value structure.
What advice would you give a blogger in terms of what they post?
Well, I’m more of a writer and my blog is essentially lil’ me, transferring a piece of my inner thoughts on a page. Sometimes rambling thoughts, but I’ve made that clear to my readers and that’s the key. It depends what type of blogger you are. If you’re writing a personal blog about your likes, interests and the workings of your heart like me, then being personal is part of the honesty of the blog. That may not be a comfortable idea for some people. If you’re a beauty blogger or a fashion blogger then stick to your content, more product info and less you. I think some added touches of your personal life can be nice and makes you more human but when I’m seeing posts on weddings, soul mates and ultrasounds, I roll my eyes. Put all of that on your private page and stick to the business of fashion.
What’s a huge turnoff for you in relationships?
I think anyone that’s homophobic, belligerent, abusive, can’t handle their alcohol and rude to women and staff.
What’s your favorite meal of the day?
What immediately attracts you to a man?
Is that your natural hair color? Is it really that black?
Yes and yes.
Do men make comments about your fashion sense or luxury items?
Only the insecure ones do.
Favorite accent on a man?
Irish and don’t laugh, but Texans. I love their accents so much.
What three qualities do you like about yourself?
I’m strong, funny/witty (at least my friends say so) and move on quickly when I don’t like a situation.
What are five items if money was no object for a woman to have in her closet?
A Cartier Watch, Chanel Ballet flats, a Burberry trench, a Hermès scarf and a lady Dior lambskin bag or a Chanel classic flap with gold hardware.
What blush do you use?
Right now, I’m sporting the Too Faced Pappa Don’t Peach blush.
Do you have tattoos? Would you get anymore?
Yes I do and yes I would.
How do your friends describe you?
Mercurial. Funny. Glam.
How would you describe a perfect woman?
Smarts, humility, compassionate and stylish.
How do you describe your personal style?
A little boho a little chic.
Do you want to get married?
It’s not a priority on my list.
Do you wear glasses?
What qualities irritate people about you?
I’m moody and get bored easily.
Finish the sentence, when you’ve had a bad day you crave…
My mom’s cooking.
Would you ever live with someone?
I’m not sure; I really like my space and hate sharing bathrooms. I honestly think the key to a successful relationship is separate bathrooms and wardrobes.
Have you ever regretted a relationship ending in your life, friendship or romantic?
No regrets for either ones.
If you had 1000 to spend on makeup what would you buy?
Makeup for my family and friends or the Victoria Beckham X Estée Lauder Light Box because it looks so cool!
What fragrance are you currently wearing?
Serge Lutens Clair de Musc.
Favorite nail polish brand?
I love Formula X but I’ve heard they’re being discontinued. I just bought a bunch of Guerlain ones and they’re so lovely.
What items are on your wish list for summer?
Honestly, nothing. I’m content with what I have.
Phew, I’m all done! I felt like I was typing forever but it was fun! Thank you for all the questions and kind messages; it really makes my day when you send me positive words of encouragement.