It’s been on the tip of my tongue, edge of my pen and forefront of my keyboard for quite some time. Monogamy. What a loaded little word. It’s dawned on me that it’s not a word everyone seems to like or oblige to and sometimes people have a tendency to create their own definitions of it. On a chipper note, others remain faithful to each and every letter. Curiosity, not judgment, led me to investigate my feelings on the tricky subject.
In the most literal sense I question it on a daily basis, wondering if two people are really meant to be with one another forever, and forever faithful. Is it in our genetic predisposition to want to have multiple partners? Are we satiated to be with just one person even when the throes of passion upon passion slowly turn from sizzle to fizzle? As I asked myself more questions, I released all rigidity of a black and white scale of perception because the word monogamy comes with a set of rules for each and every individual, a set of rules that is different from the one society hands out and expects us to abide by at birth. That seems to be the truth in my part of the universe and that’s partially why I have zero judgment with respect to the personal conduct of others.
Ever curious, along the path of my own questioning I climbed the parapet of my own inclinations of what monogamy meant to me on an esoteric level. At first I immediately thought of associating it with my relationship with others, or my expectations of how I wanted that word delivered in the romantic realm of things. Then I had an epiphany. How did that word relate to me? Just me?
Was I monogamous to myself?
Did I hold true to my own standard of living and honor my being? Or did I occasionally cheat on myself ignoring my core values? Asking if I was monogamous was one of the hardest questions I have ever approached internally. Its ridiculously convenient to make a list of what we want others to bring to us, followed by assumptions led by expectation. Do we mirror the same expectations within ourselves? Inner harmony is monogamy. Staying faithful to the goodness that dwells within you is divinity. They go hand in hand. When you hurt another person, when you disregard something that bears little significance to you, but is of value to someone else, you are turning your back on your own light and cheating yourself of the chance to shine. I truly believe when you have synchronicity of a solid realm of principled goodness and outer action you are being monogamous to yourself.
Every so often it’s very salient to step inside ourselves and hold the hands that easily point at others and turn them towards us. No one is an exception in front of his or her own internal tribunal. We can never evade our own truths. When we start to live them, that’s when we become monogamous.