At some point we’ve met one of them, more than often we’ve met them combined, both are unbearable, both are unkind (the latter being slightly better dressed) and both are rude and insincere. I’ve always been conflicted as to how to deal with these types of women* Do I sympathize with their underdeveloped way of thinking and wish them well? Do I say something? Do I keep my mouth shut? Does it clash with my personal evolution to say anything at all? Rudeness is mind-boggling and insincerity has never befriended me. Remember the saying if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all? I am horrified with the things people actually get away with saying.
It all began on a lovely morning, where I was particularly cheerful and encountered a woman that made it her mission to say something spiteful. I recall stopping mid-walk and had that mental: ‘No she didn’t’ moment, followed by a detailed self-analysis of what expression I may have been sporting that offended her. Was it the smile? Was it larger than usual? Did I over whiten my teeth? Was my positive energy like a repellant for her? As I comically consoled myself it dawned on me that there are people who are unable to be happy for others, it really wasn’t about me at all. My thoughts immediately went to every quote I’ve stored away in my mental filing cabinet, you know, the ones that say you must show kindness to those that are unpleasant? Nothing worked; I was not having a side order of spite on my plate of happiness that day. I itched to offer some kind of sarcastic rebuttal but it was as if my mouth was glued shut. No matter how hard I tried I could not attack her with unpleasant words, it didn’t feel right at all. So I smiled, carried on with my day and an hour later said thank you out loud to no one. Crazy? Sure.
There is a rationalization that makes me grateful for moments like this, as I pleasantly discovered. I became aware that the selective number of people I have around me are similar to myself, encountering excessive negativity was not part of an environment I was used to. Likes do attract like and thankfully I had such a positive group of friends and family that when someone was rude it almost as if I had allowed a tourist to enter my content land.
The optimist that constantly battles with the pessimist in my head thanked her because it allowed me to appreciate all the good souls in my life. The pessimist reared it’s pokey head and offered fifty rebuttals only to be kicked out of my mind a few minutes later because that energy would quickly commiserate with hers, defeating any principle of calm I had housed. It’s ok to have flashes of annoyance, just remember to chuck them out once you’ve said hi.
I often wonder what the self-justification is for being rude, spoiled and a braggart and I’m sure there are countless theories and therapy sessions in progress. I’ve just learnt that the angrier I get it only affects me while the mood ruining party is oblivious. Not worth it at all.
Here are my two cents worth:
Don’t put people down just because you don’t understand them, they don’t have the same life as you.
Don’t generalize. You pride yourself in being different so others get the same right.
Sometimes it’s best to keep some thoughts in a vault in your head, the kind with a heavy-duty code that only you know the password to.
Money doesn’t define your worth; your character defines your self- worth. Memorize that.
It’s easy to notice all the things you don’t have but you have a pulse, notice that.
Jealously isn’t attractive and is a way of not appreciating what you already have.
Don’t try to make yourself feel better by showing others what they lack, what you want is not what not everyone is going to want, people evolve at a different pace.
Have some humility. It’s ok to have nice things, but bragging about the cost of your personal belongings makes it obvious that you have a handbag full of insecurities.
So you’re highly educated, have carved out a great life but if your attitude sucks and you belittle people that haven’t achieved the same academic standards you have, then all your fancy degrees are worth nothing. You get a big fat zero for failing to understand the human condition.
If you’re having a terrible day, don’t unleash your horrid moods on others.
Don’t use another person to pass your boredom.
Don’t name drop. So. So. Gross.
Lastly- a biggie, just because you paid a lot for it, doesn’t mean it makes you any more special than someone without a label.
* Can apply to men, oh boy can it ever, but it just so happened that I encountered women this past month.