Heart on my sleeve. December.

It’s December and definitely a time where I cast great thought on what has happened in my life for the past eleven months. In reflection, there definitely is a pattern that has been about new beginnings, endings and some more new beginnings. I’ve blogged less, taken to my laptop like a zombie working on my novel and concentrated on what’s really meaningful in my life. No, that doesn’t involve shoes although they are my favorite distraction.

This year has brought so many friendships and relationships to the forefront; not to sound like a stiletto clad, chocolate eating, walking cliché but I’ve loved, laughed and lost and I wouldn’t trade any of it for any amount of chocolate. Uh-huh, that’s right, you heard me. My heart has earned some impressive stripes this year, it has pulsed with joy, anxiety and bliss, even cracking a little and I’m completely ok with that. I’ve learnt that love, in whatever form it’s given, can linger, stay or float away and that the kind of love to focus on is the internal one you ignite within yourself. Somehow when you do that, you become this fantastic magnet to invite all goodness into your life.  I’ve reevaluated my value structure, put others first and offered my help when I’ve required some the most. I suppose that’s called growth. My mother would finally be proud that I’ve learnt to clamp my mouth shut even when I’m dying to say something; it’s all about learning to pick your battles and let grace walk two steps ahead of you. Actually, she looked me right in the eye and told me that she was proud. For me, that’s the winning ticket, the affirmation that makes my heart sing a little louder. Hey, I said my heart, not me! I know I have a voice that can make birds topple out of the sky. Most importantly, I’ve come to realize the value of my own self worth and that only comes when you learn to love yourself wholeheartedly.

Never wishing anyone malice because I really don’t know how to be mean, I’ve loved those who have walked out of my life dearly and I love the ones who have stayed even more so. I’m deeply grateful for every single thing in my life, such as the simplest drops of sun that sparkle in my room in the mornings, dancing and glittering around in delight, my gorgeous family, my mobility, my hands and my feet. I am thankful for the things I can hear, touch, taste and smell and that moment of bliss at five am when I sit down to have a silent conversation with the quiet of the morning. Those moments are gifts.

I can only hope that this year brings each and every one of you an abundance of the beauty I have been blessed to witness and to always seek the good in others because nothing is really dark if you can shine your brightness on any situation.

Always the optimist,

Happy holidays.