Some people overstay their welcome in our lives, one day it dawned on me to make a clean sweep. I won’t fabricate, it’s difficult to sit down with a metaphorical dustpan, albeit a glittery one and take an in-depth look at those that surround you. In essence all I wanted was to have people that added value to my life, a ‘handful of gold nuggets’ a term my good friend uses. Growing up, my mother’s advice constantly lingered in my earring studded ears “Don’t throw people out, build bridges, don’t burn them,” and ninety-nine percent of the time I agree with her. The other one percent of personal dust is swept away with the broom. Lodged in the bristles are people that are toxic, hateful, spiteful, the ones that you have given chances to over and over and are still left with nothing but negativity and dissatisfaction. I came to the conclusion that my kindness can only extend so far, that I need to know I’m not being crushed under the sledge of somebody’s harmful words or even worse, actions. After a period of time I became aware of the phenomenal souls that enriched my surroundings, the ones that made a difference and didn’t saunter in and out of my life at their leisure. Knowing this, it became much easier to spot the folks with a vibe that didn’t necessarily match the one I was sporting.
See, this is where what I say to anyone with regards to friends, family, acquaintances or even someone you barely know, if you expect a certain standard from someone make sure that you are the proud owner of the same ones. If you want a friend that is going to be around for birthdays, sad moments, happy moments and whatever moments tickle your fancy, then you have to be that friend too. If you want someone that you can run to in a drop of a hat, if there’s an emergency or you’re having an emotional-mini drama, then you have to be that person too, otherwise it’s just unfair for you to want that from someone else. I don’t care how thick skinned you are, or how you claim that you’re the least expectant person in the world, I will doubt it unless you’re in orange robes on top of a mountain chanting some hefty Aums. We all expect to a certain extent and that can lead to disappointment, but that’s just part of relying on those you love, otherwise it would be one lonely world.
What was under my sparkly broom? A handful of people that are not awful, but just toxic for where I am in my life. They can change, I am sure they can, we’re all evolving- but for now, it’s hardly a perfect match. I assess my value structure on a daily basis, what things do I deem important? Wants versus needs. What can I do for others? What am I doing on this planet to make it a better place? Can I have Wonder-Woman’s red boots in a size 6? I realized that I was truly at peace when I was amongst happy, healthy people. The kind that make others their first priority and enjoy aspects of life that involve boundless gratitude and see the glass half-full most of the time, because I do and that’s a perfect match. When you house positivity it’s beautifully infectious. Science even proves it affects people that you know and those that you don’t know. That’s how good that vibe is. The more you sit around and coat yourself in bitterness, gossip, comparison, and greed, you’ll find that you’re just bringing all that stuff right back to you. It’s one giant blister and it’s only going to pop on you. So don’t bother with it. It’s that simple.
Here’s the thing. If you’re loaded with an affirmative attitude you emit this fantastic energy and you attract blessings into your life, I know I’ve said it a hundred times before but repetition is not monotony in this case. Now I’m not saying to be happy all the time, we all have our days where the grumpiness outweighs the chirp, but that’s where your positive friends come in, someone that won’t let you commiserate the gloom, a detour to good thoughts, that’s what I’m talking about. When you have that, you won’t even need the broom because the more you focus on the all the blessings that come from everything in your life, yes- even the disappointing days can be one, negative junk automatically disappears. I’m no expert, just on my own experiences and so far I’ve seemed to have helped myself pretty well. I don’t even need a big broom anymore, but I still keep the little pink dustpan. Just incase.