One year ago…
I find myself singing “I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day” as I attempt to unclog the kitchen sink. I’m exhausted; it’s been a really long day of work, amongst other events that are taking place in my life all at once. No surprise there, and to say it’s all rather dramatic is quite the understatement. I peer under the sink, squinting and agreeing with myself that drama seems to love me. A giant, fat tear rolls down my cheek and I declare in my weepy voice to a Windex bottle under the sink that I am going to have a pity party for all my woes. So I cried, for about two minutes and then felt the urge to start singing again. If anyone knows me well, I can scare the daylights out of anything living when I sing, which explains why there aren’t any spiders present in my home.
No matter how much I try, I cannot have a pity party because it doesn’t matter how clogged life gets, I think there are always ten more reasons to be happy.
Now, if the tears do roll, it’s usually for forty seconds and then I start singing again and force myself to blurt out twenty things I’m grateful for – usually there’s more. Then there are inter-friendtions – yes, a technical term that includes a roster of gal-pals to call and feel instantly elevated. My friends and I have devised this method of instant uplifting when our day is far from spectacular. It works, every single time.
Life is beautiful; struggles shape us in ways that we cannot imagine. Whenever I have felt closed in, a metaphorical window appears, always when I need one to. People come and go, some hurt us, we hurt them, others simply move on, but there is such a beauty in that too. I have become grateful for the smallest things, such as the air that I breathe, the clean water that comes from my tap, my hands, joints, muscles and fingers. The simple act of walking and being mobile is a daily miracle. Living through the four seasons, laughing and being able to see a gorgeous world in color with those I love so dearly is nothing short of pure bliss. I appreciate and acknowledge the dark days too, the ones that bring pain, loss and sadness. They are insightful mirrors that tell me I possess the awareness and ability to feel, love and know heartbreak, the powerful process of healing and to emerge with a different layer of compassion. I have found pleasure in helping others, giving my time and not expecting anything in return, but when I do get a smile it’s the most fulfilling reward. I have learnt that if we pay attention to the world around us, there are miracles happening everyday and that there is an abundance of love and laugher for each and every one of us.
Perhaps the most important lesson I have learnt is that within an instant, no matter what your troubles may be, if you are kind to yourself, if you honor your being and your place in this planet and maybe sing a song out of tune in the midst of a chaotic life, there can be happiness. The kind of joy that you feel in the pit of your stomach, the kind that you never thought was possible, a joy for no reason at all, for just being.