Oddly enough I read ‘Le port et la’ (the door is there) on a sign in Paris when I was a little girl. Trying hard to think back to where I saw it exactly is a challenge but the sentiment resonated in me forever. I had no idea that a little sign would become my personal motto for the rest of my life. Heavy words. Empowering really, especially for little me – small and mighty, well that’s what I’ve been told.
In my opinion, empowering myself doesn’t mean emasculating the opposite sex; it simply means that after many years of trail and error, I have my crap together. Sorry, there was no flowery way to word that. That’s a huge deal for a woman. Don’t believe me? Just ask one, a really strong one. So, what kind of woman can stare you in the face when you’ve disrespected her and say with aplomb: “You don’t like it? The door’s right there”. A real one. She’ll even point at it so that you aren’t mistaking the bathroom door for the exit. She has a Chanel handbag full of self-worth and then some, sweet as a peach with a winning disposition, but certainly won’t take any crap, especially if you’re challenging her solid sense of worth and good values.
Struggling with the idea of being a narcissist or an empowered person? Here’s the difference. Let’s try the ABC’s:
A) Like yourself for Pete’s sake. Even better, love yourself. Now before you go rolling your eyes at me, contemplate it. Roll the thought in your head instead of lifting those eyeballs up again. Are you your own best friend? Are you worthy of your own ideals? Know your qualities as a person, the weak ones and strong ones and embrace them, really give them a tight hug because they compose the unique individual that is you.
B) If you believe in something strongly, then stand behind it. Have your own mind, your own opinion and don’t be afraid to speak out and speak up. It’s super sexy and it encourages other people that are struggling with the same thing to step up. Not all of us are born leaders, just like we weren’t born walking. Get up, fall, and try again. Padding or no padding on the butt, it will hurt but once you get your stride, you’ll be sprinting in no time.
C) Love every inch of who you are, all the things you see as imperfect or perfect, love it all. When you do that, you emit this magnificent energy to the world and it’s infectious. You’ll suddenly have your very own joie de vivre, and everyone will be drawn to you like a magnet. You may even glow. Why? It’s because you’ve mastered the art of befriending yourself. Let’s face it, it’s super easy to point out the things that we don’t like about ourselves and much harder to appreciate the great qualities that we have.
D) There will always be people in your life that are real downers, the kind that thrive on making comments about what you don’t do right, or what they can do better and at times make you feel unworthy. The key word is ‘make you feel’. Sure, they have the power to make you feel a certain way, but only if you let them. Lady, get the power back! You don’t have to throw negative people out of your life, you simply must show kindness and gratitude towards them and not think about them that much. The more you focus on all the good things in your life and those around you, the negative people automatically disappear. If your energy isn’t the same, you will rarely encounter them. (Tried, tested and true).
E) In my personal experiences I have seen many people that are frightened by a strong woman. What I rationalize in my head is that lots of people are afraid of something before they are faced with it, depending on what it is. Say, like climbing into a pit of poisonous spiders to win a cash prize. What? You’re not afraid? Liar. Or you’re seriously brave. My point is, in one weird way or another, the people I know (because I cannot speak for the general populous) are usually frightened of what they don’t know. Enter the strong woman, a real fab gal with some opinions under her Hermés belt and a ‘no-crap taken’ attitude but nice as heck – that can be really scary for some people, until they get to know her. Point: Respect yourself and others will follow suit – even if they fear a little. Sometimes the unknown (you) can be scary.
The door to your strength appears only when you have a loving control over your own life, one that honors you. When you know yourself well enough, you’ll realize that you do not owe anyone an explanation for your personal choices. If you are in a state of gratitude and have good will towards all those you know and encounter, then how you live your life should only matter to you. That is why there is always an open door. People that do not share the same energy are free to leave. Et voila! Le port et la!