Romance in the era of pessimism

I suppose I am the last of a dying breed, the kind of girl that has her rose-tinted glasses permanently dangling from the end of her nose, almost on the verge of falling immediately to be jostled back up again.  Officially declaring that I embrace my femininity, sexuality and inner Wonder-Woman type of power (insert eye roll here) makes me every feminist’s nightmare. I am no longer bashful about stating that I am an ardent fan of chivalry, along with a side of an abundance of intelligence and a superhero-ish aura from the opposite sex. Wait! I am no damsel in distress and definitely do not need rescuing, but simply optimistic about the type of love I deserve. Yes, I said the “L” word. Surprising, because as of late and according to good authority, it’s been flung around a lot.  In an era where time is of the essence and dating is more like an evening of exchanging verbal resumes, resulting in a crude process of elimination, I am often left to wonder where all the romance has gone?

When did we hit the fast forward button and accelerate the process of romance? One phone call, two phone calls, countless texting with an obvious expectation of speeding up the mating ritual, where’s the ‘slow is good button’? You know, the kind where you have the time to scope out your mate and make sure that he really isn’t a fleeing convict or an escapee from a polygamist island and his seventeen wives are on the hunt. Not forgetting my male counter part, what if she has five kids and is looking for a daddy who’s an expert in changing diapers or has three different personalities and you’ve just met the nicest one?  Aside from the occasional Facebook and Twitter profile does anyone really take the time out to get to know one another anymore?

More than often we are too quick in hitting the ‘delete’ button on our potential suitors because of some electronic miscommunication.  All our information is out there in this vast global village where any kind of details are a click away, yet it still won’t provide the answers we are looking for when it comes to finding someone we can master a deeper connection with. It is my personal belief that the only way we can do that is by hitting the ‘slow mo’ button and just taking the time to watch it all unfold. The type of unfolding which involves work, a deep respect of a connection made with another person; it’s amazing what you can see in a person if you take the time to notice the glue that composes them. The best part is, even if you find that you aren’t romantically inclined, there lies a potential for a fantastic friendship. (Don’t be so cynical, it’s entirely possible)

Which brings me back to my opening statement, the one where I point out my sliding rose coloured glasses. No matter how tech-saavy dating has become and there is a countless list of possible suitors just a click away, stolen profile pictures and all, I believe in the old-fashioned wholesome connection to romance. It entails time being spent getting to know someone without considerable texting or emailing. I know, to some this concept is appallingly foreign – especially to a younger generation with a very early introduction to crackberry, but it works, it really does. When you invest the actual time to get to know someone, to enjoy the process of romance and all it’s bells and whistles, you become accomplished in the language of your happiness. What embodies you and makes you so utterly special is not hidden in some fine print in the corner of your computer screen. It’s when butterflies in your stomach don’t mean a horrible repercussion of the suspicious Indian food you had the night before and the teeny-tiny spark that ignited into full flame isn’t because your Iphone is overheated. The more you get to know the person you are initially attracted to, the more potential there is for that initial attraction to lead to something much more sustainable and longer lasting.

So, here I am, pushing up these rosy glasses of optimism and potential romance, because it’s really that simple. Really. I believe that true love is out there (I heard the gag). All you have to do is hit ‘slow mo’ and lose the concept of time.