I’ve heard that in order to find Nirvana you need to find your quiet way to a state of stillness, esoterically I am assuming that this means an inner state of mind or being, but for myself, this December, I found a little bit of visual paradise. I was fortunate enough to be able to place my little feet in the vast creamy beige sand that hugs the Atlantic Ocean. There I sat, facing a glamorous, twinkling clear blue body of water in the small island of the Bahamas.
Having the curious nature to ponder and reflect on even the most minute details, there came a point, where I had carved myself into the sand and gazed at the splendid view that lay before me completely at loss of words or thought.
In meditation, for a beginner, I believe this is a breakthrough. I cannot describe the stillness that resonated within. Was it the crystal clear waves, hitting the shore and shattering like a thousand flecks of diamonds mere millimeters from my feet? Or could it have been the restless wind flitting about, weaving itself in and out of my hair as I sat back and felt the slight sting of the salt water slowly sprinkle and linger on my lips.
There were many moments in my life where I would wistfully dream of being able to find a silence that spread peace, speaking a different language within my being. A language, which can only be acquired from walking a very narrow and arduous spiritual path. One where every rock bears an encumbrance, and every twist represent’s a monumental moment in my life.
Here I was, encompassed in that very silence and as I marveled in my surroundings I saw that there were no greater visuals to aid me in my spiritual metaphors as what I had in this moment in front of me.
In the horizon, a small yacht drifted in the jewel like waters, resting quietly surrounded by archaic mysteries of the depths underneath it. If I were to describe how I saw my life at that precise instant I would reflectively state that the little yacht was myself. Undeniably there was nowhere else it belonged but in the midst of acres and acres of immeasurable depth and as it moved at it’s own pace on the surface of such richness, taking it all in, it was met with even more vastness and beauty.
The moments passed languorously as each tide lazily rolled in, basking in the sunlight before it heaved a watery sigh and floated back into the ocean.
Stretching my legs out I smiled looking down at a small, prickly serpent starfish making its way back to the sea, instinctively knowing which way to go reminding me of when I was a little girl living in Africa. I vividly recall picking the most beautiful shells right from the ocean and as I picked them up I would giggle in glee at the little legs and moving bodies that were still in the shell.
My mother would immerse them in a salt bath to get rid of anything living in them and would place them in the back yard to dry. My back yard was a two-minute walk to the ocean and to my amazement the shells literally started walking back towards the sea.
That is how life unfolds for me, whichever direction I may walk towards, whatever path I choose to seize, I am always led to where I am meant to be. Even when it feels as if I am submersed in numbness and the haze of the unknown falls upon my path, I know that somehow a way will be made to guide me more into myself.