Before I begin, this is not for the faint hearted male, so if you are going to get your boxers in a twist I suggest you don’t read the following. Now that I’ve said that, it’s most likely that eyeballs will scroll.
I am not naïve. I do understand that the dynamics of dating have changed since I was much younger. This may make me seem like a dinosaur, but in my head I’m always twenty six.
After many, many, (to a point where I want to cut my ears off and hand them to my friends) heated conversations with my disgruntled female acquaintances and close friends, I have come across a new species of male. In complete befuddlement I notice that this type of male feigns little interest in dating yet fornicates with the twisted dating ritual in merriment.
I have happily named him “Dating For Entertainment Guy – DFEG”
My girlfriends have other more ‘colorful’ names for him and narrowing down the list is beyond tedious.
This new breed of dating males are not familiar with the classic form of chivalry, and we all know too well that anything deemed ‘classic’ is desirable and timeless.
Clearly the DFEG is unaware of this. (insert a brief second of sympathy for the git)
Gone are the days of actually picking up a telephone. Remember those? These men are now safely camouflaged behind their texts and even worse (insert tribal drumroll) message on Facebook – truly a dating peril.
A complete no-no for the chivalry infected female.
I figure if most of the conversations are Facebook based you are destined to have an abundance of relationships that are going to end in ‘LOL’ or smiley faces of some sort and lacking substance.
Lets not forget the overdose of the ever-popular “XOXO”. *Shudder*
This also allows the male to Facebook shop for other interesting prospects. Dysfunctional as this new dating ritual is, and I speak from experience, there is a whole lot of false advertising.
When did men think that women actually like this? Believe me, we prefer if you would pick up that magical device that Alexander Graham Bell so lovingly created and use it!
Let’s insert a little pointer here for the shoddy sod that fits the description of the DFEG: You can’t get to know someone from a series of texts, its irritatingly impersonal.
Even better, how about meet in person, you know where it’s all three -dimensional? Now, for the DFEG male, this is indeed a foreign concept, they would actually have to use their voices and, perish the thought, a series of words would have to tumble out of their mouths. Difficult I know, but I am very sure this wondrous concept is one of endless possibility and feasibility. I’ll give you a moment to scratch your head and ponder.
In conclusion women want chivalry, at least the kind where voices are involved and perhaps some consistency in which we do not spend an ample amount of time wasted decoding an XOXO for ‘I think of you fondly’, or ‘on to the next,’ or the ever popular kiss of death goodbye ‘XOXOXOXO’ directly translated: ‘mea-culpa you’re one of many.’
Don’t forget, remember the disclaimer above.